I was half sleep and my TV was tuned in to the Jerry Springer Show. I heard the funniest shit. It woke me up laughing. There were the usual assortment of characters there. You know, trailer love triangle. One of the guest had a wicked grill. You know missing teeth. So, a lady in the audience says," You must make Beethoven proud... Cause I could play a g-flat on your grill!!" I woke all the way up after that one. That was some funny shit.
Anyway, I gotta take a dump. I will be back one day with something interesting. If anything worth mentioning happens. I would leave you with a poem but I know you don't want to read that crap. Oh well, I'll do it anyway.
This is something that I wrote when my poetry was about healing, circa 1997. I hope you enjoy. And yes, the ugly lovely life is an ongoing theme with me throughout my poetry. Anyway here it is:
The Heartless
Into the claws of lawless pestilence.
Resistance futile once you
enter this abyss of false bliss.
Material minerals that shine
until they blind the affected.
Infected by things that the
naked optic can’t realize.
Lies that cause souls to cringe
at the idea of a god fearing ego.
Here comes the fall of man.
Expanding loveless philosophies
and indulgent rituals.
Habitual attempts to lead
the masses into the light of
eternal darkness where sunken souls
tremble and angelic faces
writhe in agonizing song.
Long ago avoided the maze in a phase
of incredulous whispers
and weighted compulsions.
Hating to love and loving to hate.
Never to see the reasons why followers never
lead the reality that knowingly exists...
Twisted the fabric and
wrinkled the style.
Went wild with rebellion
and iconoclastic wiles.
Jumped from the wagon
and deserted the terrors
that were sure to come.
Heavy frame blossomed
into a headless stem of grim
remembrances that took hold
once released from the mold
of what ailed my hollowed
perception of why I am.
Corpulent boy with a sensitivity
that let me see things through elders’ eyes.
Being in control of nothing
but the tears never shed
and the anger never released.
Creasing the very mold
that shaped me..
Bending me in like steel rods
with Herculean effort.
Stressing me to break into
an uneven duo of antagonistic
twins who will never blend.
Forced to repel and split
the gentle skin of unknown dimensions.
Tension boiling.
Soiling the demeanor of
a sad eyed baby who loved
once but found heartless
breaks in the continuum of
prosperity that was his destiny.
Sunken chest when he
realized that the whole sordid
definition of life was nothing
he wanted to live.
Give it to the heartless.
He who loves strong for
long will only be reborn
into greater hate.
Sedated by anger and
gladiatorial dances he
chanced to escape
by way of love.
Abstract at first he
cursed the mechanism.
Decision heartfelt so was
subjected to a prism that
shined only through closed eyes...
Meandering thoughts
and enlightened cyclones
that shiver the bones
and heals what stills progress;
the lovelessness the ugliness
that made this Life my stress...
i've read way too many blogs today and ur poem looks to long for me to read right now. but u know me, i eventually do. i love ur blog and don't miss an entry (better late than never, right?)
s
Lonnell, You are sick! LOL 
This poem is appropriately titled. So brilliant and so sad. This really tells a tale of you and your struggles in this life. I share some of that pain as well, as do many. You have a great way of expressing yourself although your writes are often misunderstood. You force me to look deeper than always necessary and I love that. Keep sharing your brilliant way of expression with the rest of the world. There are few and far between with your sense of poetic style.
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